I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
