Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
