Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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