I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
