That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
