69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
