Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
