Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
