I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
