Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
