They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
