Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
