I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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