I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
