I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
