But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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