I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
