I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
