I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
