I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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