how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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