If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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