Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
