McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
