i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
