We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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