Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
