You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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