Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
