We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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