I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
