I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
