why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
