I'm so fucking centered right now
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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