This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
