Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
