I skipped work to stalk him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
