this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
