Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
