Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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