We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
