Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
