i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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