Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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