the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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