i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
