And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
