I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
