Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
