so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
